I am sitting here on the couch shaking my head, saying no no, it didn't happen!! It's not true! Please make it go away!! I can't believe this is happening! What am I talking about? This is the story:
Elmer has been having trouble with his voice since January 1, and has been to the doctor a few times. He was told that it was a sinus infection and did two rounds of antibiotics. Nothing changed so they decided that it was the acid reflux making his throat raw and that the prilosec he was taking was not doing the job so another medicine was tried. No change, so now we are sent to and ear, nose and throat specialist.
We went to the specialist on Thursday, March 20, 2014 and heard news that I never in my life wanted to hear! First, he checked Elmer's throat with scope through the nose and discovered that his left vocal cord was paralyzed. That's what is causing the hoarse sound to his voice. He proceeded to tell us that 30% of people this happens to they never figure out why it happens but for the other 70% the cancer. My whole body went cold! I did not want to hear that! He said that to figure out what was going on they would do a few tests. The first one was a video of his vocal cords and it was plain to see that the left one was not working at all. Next up was an ultra sound. Dr Sobol had barely started the test and I already saw him nodding his head as if everything was being confirmed that he had suspected. I was so scared! He pushed his chair back and said"See this right here? That is a mass around the thyroid gland. We'll have to take a needle biopsy of that one." They did that and then he went on looking and he said" oh here this lymph node is involved too. We need to take a biopsy of this one too." They did that and then he went on looking and kept saying here and here and I was getting more and more scared.
When he was done he said that Elmer needed more tests but he was 99% percent sure that it was cancer. It hurts so much to write that. He told us the different treatments that would happen it's confirmed. My mind was reeling.
It seems that I can't think of anything but that dreaded word! It follows me everywhere, mocking me! I can't seem to get away from it! My husband is such a great guy! I love him so much and I hate this for him. He does so much for me and now it's time I do for him.
My song for today was Healer by Kari Jobe. It helps to listen to it.
My prayer for today is first of all for complete healing for Elmer of course but also for peace and God's presence. I love feeling God's presence in my life. It is a precious feeling and I covet it. If there is anybody out there reading this I ask for your prayers also.
